


Neverland May Have Never Existed

by boxofnothing



Series: Neverland May Have Never Existed [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cursed Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Cursed Storybrooke, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Neverland (Once Upon a Time), mentioned rape, teenage Emma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-26 16:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14405619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofnothing/pseuds/boxofnothing
Summary: Dreams work in mysterious ways. they make us believe things that didn't happen actually happened and vice versa. When Emma was 17 she was transported to Neverland yet somehow let herself believe it was a dream. Yet somewhere deep down the feelings she holds for the dark haired dock manager remind her of a dream she had years and years ago. So maybe Neverland actually existed to begin with.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, first of all, DO NOT HATE ON MY SUMMARY. It absolutely sucks. I hate it with a burning passion and will probably eventually change. Anyway, I'm hardcore procrastinating right now and came across this bad boy on my google drive. It's not done or anything but I do plan on finishing it because I have a large chunk of it finished. So let me give a brief explanation. We are going to start off with teenage Emma and then later time skip to the cursed Stroybrooke later after the whole Neverland thing because I'm going chronologically but don't hold me to that. 
> 
> Also, I love criticism and I really do grow from it but don't be hateful about it. If you see a legitimate error SAY SOMETHING but don't be an ass about it. There is a difference between constructive criticism and being mean. Find the line and don't cross it.
> 
> On another note I have a couple other stories and actually a linked one I've already posted so check them out.

It was a dream.

Of course it was a dream.

So of course as she walked through the jungle she knew this had to be a dream.

But then why did it feel so real?

She could feel the heat and humidity on her skin. She was actually sweating. Can you even sweat in dreams?

She could touch everything. The vines. The leaves. The dirt.

It smelled like what she assumed a jungle smelled like. She had never been in a jungle before, so she had no idea what one smelled like. But it smelled like rain. And dirt. And dead leaves.

She walked for a long time but this was a dream. So she could only be walking for a minute. But then why did she feel tired. Her small, short legs actually felt tired.

Was this really a dream? Could you experience all that she was experiencing in a dream? But if this was real life, how was this even possible? She fell asleep in her bed last night. Well she cried herself asleep. Again. She was pretty sure, no she was positive that when you fell asleep, you woke up in somewhat the same environment you fell asleep in. You don't wake up in a freaking jungle!

Emma sat down to rest her legs. As she sat she took in her present surroundings better. She was pretty certain she was in a jungle. She had never been in one but according to her textbooks if she recalled correctly, this was what one was supposed to look like. But were they supposed to be this dark? Then again it was probably night. She could see the moon in the sky. It was a sliver of a moon but it was still a moon. Although the moon provided very little help with light at all. From the moonlight that did reach the jungle floor she could see that all the trees, were a dark brown. Not a nice deep and rich chocolate brown but an eerie almost black brown. The kind that you see in your nightmares.

Slowly Emma leaned her back against a tree and closed her eyes for just a second. Or at least what she thought was a second. She was pretty sure that time in wherever the hell she is is completely screwed up.

When Emma finally opened her eyes again, she was greeted with a pair of startling blue ones.

At first she thought she was dreaming. Wait but how is that possible? Is it actually possible to dream in a dream? 

After a few mental debates, Emma concluded that this had to be the original. Not a dream in a dream. That would be ridiculous.

Emma took in the man's appearance and she would have to say that she definitely liked what she saw. First, she saw his face. He had a stern, sharp jawline that was covered in a layer of black stubble, that matched his hair. His hair was an impossible black. It was so black that it seemed unreal. It reminded her of the kind of black that she always thought space would be. The man also appeared to be fit but she couldn't know for sure, for his endless layers of leather. From what Emma saw, she was pretty sure that there was not a stitch of fabric on the man's body that was not originally from a cow. He was entirely decked out in leather from head to toe. From his black leather boots to his pants to a long leather jacket. Although he was wearing what appeared to be a white cotton shirt that showed a lot of chest hair. Then she saw his hands. Rather hand. While his actual hand was covered in an array of rings, the other was a hook. He didn't have a hand rather a hook.

Oh. God.

Emma knew where her dream world had brought her.

There was only one place where a man with a hook for a hand resided.

Neverland.

Now she knew she was dreaming. 

Neverland didn't exist. A place where kids don't grow up? Nonsense. Land where lost boys came together and became each other's family? It could never happen. A place where fairies and flying was possible? They were fairy tales and fairytales don't exist.

"You all well, lass?" The man without a hand said in a lilted accent. She thought it was British or possibly Irish.

"What?"

"I was asking if you were all right. You had been laying there for quite some time now." She looked at him worriedly. How long had she been asleep? Had time really gotten away from her? Had she thought it was only a few minutes when in reality it had been days? Wait. He had been watching her sleep? That is not creepy at all. Maybe he was watching over her like so weird form of guardian angel. This was a dream after all.

"How long have I been here?" She questioned the man.

"Well I only came across you here a few moments ago but apparently Tink has been watching you for a few hours now." The man looked behind him and now Emma could see the rather short woman standing behind him. Could this situation get any worse? Of course it had to be Tinker Freakin' Bell. Well if Captain Hook was hot then Tinkerbell had to be lifesize. God, what had the world turned into?

"You know lass," He continued. "I haven't seen Pan rope in a girl in a long time. He only gathers lost boys not girls. So why are you here? Did Pan even bring you here? If not you are coming with me."

Pan only has lost boys? What about Wendy then? What if Pan didn't bring her here. Did she bring herself here? So why exactly was she here? This she has officially concluded is far too vivid to be a dream. But it had to be. This stuff is just not normal.

"Woah! Hold your horses Hook!" The short woman interjected. "Why should she go with you? You are a pirate and such. At least if she is with me she's with a woman." He snorted clearly amused by the blonde.

"Hmmph! A woman my ass! You my friend are still a fairy!"

"I lost that title when I lost my wings! You call me a fairy one more time Hook, I swear I will wring your neck!" She threatened.

Sheesh! Who knew that Tinkerbell could be such a badass?

"Fine! Woman, how about we compromise..."

"You can compromise?" She cut in.

"Yes, I can. How about we take her to my ship and I will allow you to come aboard."

They were deciding what to do with her without her consent. That was not okay in Emma's books. This was all that ever happened in her life and she was fed up with it. Emma was not going to have yet another person determine her fate without her.

"Fine. That I'm good with." Tinkerbell said.

"Hello, but I'm not. Last I checked I was not two. I'm seventeen I can decide to do whatever the hell I want. To most people I'm considered an adult and adults make their own decisions." Emma interjected into the conversation.

"Well look who finally got her voice. And have you ever had a run in with Pan? Have you seen what the lost boys do for fun? Do you want to become Pan's plaything?" Hook's words had a bite to them. As if he was attacking her, trying to get Emma to back down.

Was all that true? Was Neverland not as dreamy as it was in the movie? Well, her current surroundings have proved that this place was clearly more dreary than dreamy.

Could she even trust what Hook was saying? He was Captain Hook after all. Maybe she could trust human sized Tinkerbell. But then again she did look like she could easily kill her with a rock or a stick or an anything.

"Is that true? Everything he said." Emma directed to the woman.

The woman in green looked at her for a moment then said: "Yes, I've seen what Pan is capable of and you being a pretty young blonde, well you won't last long. He'll keep you as his toy and then when you break he'll throw you out like last week's garbage."

They kept saying that Emma would become his toy if Pan got a hold of her. Emma didn't like that term. What would he do to her? What would he do to make her break? Had he done this before? Was that how they got all this information?

"And I know Hook over here may be a pirate and he may smell quite horribly but deep down he is a gentleman and you're better off with him than with Pan." Before Emma could respond Hook was already dealing with the fact that the woman had given him a compliment.

"Was that a compliment I just heard?"

"Oh you wish!"

"Oh really because I am pretty sure that was what I heard."

"What I said wa-" Emma cut her off.

"You know I hate to break up this wonderful moment the two of you are sharing but shouldn't we get going?"

Hook was the first to respond. "Ahhh, so the lass has decided to come with us."

"It appears so. Now I don't see any hold up so we should go now shouldn't we." Tinkerbell commented.

So they left. Well Tinkerbell and Hook did. She wasn't sure if they cared if she followed or not but she did anyway. 

Through the thicket of jungle Hook slashed his sword through vines and leaves and branches clearing the path. Emma wasn't sure as to why exactly she was following the villain and not going after Pan but what the two of them had said scared her. She didn't want to become a victim again. Emma always seemed to be a victim and Emma did not want that to happen again. Here Emma was going to become a hero. She was going to be different. If she really was in Neverland then she could do and be anything she wanted. And what Emma wanted was to be a hero.

After a while she noticed Tinkerbell had fallen behind her. She wasn't sure if she had done that intentionally or not but it made her wary. It was as if the two of them were protecting her. Was Peter Pan truly that horrible? Earlier it even sounded as if the two of them might've even been afraid of him. What did he do to earn the fear of Captain Hook?

Emma decided that if the mighty Captain Hook, who was way hotter and perm free than in the movie, feared Peter Pan then she should too.

They trudged on. By the time the trio reached the beach the comfortable silence still hadn't lifted.

As they walked through the sand Emma felt sand enter her boots. Every nerve in her foot could feel them. She shook her foot to try and get them out. Of course this just ended up getting more sand in the other boot that she wasn’t shaking. After a few failed attempts she angrily grabbed at the laces and began to untie them.

She had just unlaced the boot and was about to yank it off when Tinkerbell stopped her.

"No, you will be better off with them on."

She left them on. Emma relaced the boot and then slowly followed the pair to the waterline where a small dingy was waiting for them.

She saw the boat and it reminded her of the elegant looking lifeboats in the movies. This whole goddamn thing reminded her of a movie. Then Emma's eyes trailed out to the horizon line where she saw the boat. Boat might've been a bit of an understatement. Ship would've been better or at the very least vessel. If she was in Neverland then the What was its name? She remembered from the movie that it at least had a name.

Roger Boat?

Rolly Pokie?

Rolly Joger?

Jolly Roger! That was it!

The Jolly Roger!

"Looks like a pretty boat." Emma stated flatly.

"She isn't pretty, lass. She's magnificent." Hooks corrected

"It does look magnificent." Emma fixed.

"She."

"What?"

"The ship is a she not an it." He loved that boat. It was clearly evident to Emma. In the way he talked about his boat. Emma wished that someone would look at her with that much adoration and love. For crying out loud no one would look at her like the way this man was looking at his goddamn ship. If someone could love a ship then someone could love could love her. Maybe Emma could have some hope after all.

Then Emma heard them. The voices. They were mostly whispers but they were there and Emma could hear them. She tried to clean out her ears. Maybe they were just ringing in the ears like when it was super quiet. Emma ignored them for a while and when the started to paddled out to his ship the voices started to fade. 

The crash of the waves did a good job at drowning them out but they were still there but thankfully fading.

They faded until they were barely noticeable. But she knew they were there.

When they reached the ship she had almost forgotten about them. Almost.

The voices were still crying, whispering, and jumbling her thoughts. She almost fell into the cold, black water of the sea because she was trying not to hear them.

Just before she plunged into the spine chilling water two firm, muscular arms grabbed her and pulled her back into the safety of the dingy.

She held onto the person's shirt. She felt the cool leather against her cheek. It had to be Hook. She expected some witty remark. A retort about her almost deep sea dive.

She felt his breath against her ear before he spoke. "You hear them don't you? I knew you would eventually. You have that look in your eyes. You're lost aren't you?"

She froze.

Could he hear the whispers too? He couldn't. Captain Hook wasn't lost. He was just seeking revenge on Peter Pan for some pointless reason. But then again, the movie Hook wasn't hot. And this one clearly is.

Maybe she shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Or more appropriately she shouldn't judge a person by its movie character.

Emma had no idea what he endured growing up. But could Captain Hook be just as lost as she was?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all this is chapter 2 and I hope you all enjoy this even though I think it is just ok but you know my self-esteem is in the toilet right now and I would feel great having some positive reinforcement.

Emma never thought that she would ever pray. Let alone pray for her bed in her current foster home residence. That was something she was almost a hundred percent certain would never happen.

As she stood at the bow of the Jolly Roger, she prayed. Praying for her bed in the group home. Because then maybe the whispers would go away. 

She hated hearing the quiet voices whisper their insecurities into her mind. She didn't want to hear them crying for someone, anyone. Emma wanted her mind to herself again, even if that meant going back to that horrid place. 

For a while Emma tried to concentrate on one voice in particular. Maybe then the rest would hush down.

_ I don't matter. They never even wanted me. No one cares.  _

_ I'm tired of being alone. _

_ I want to be loved. _

_ I want to not cry myself to sleep tonight. _

It was worse. Her mind was being over crowded by people just as hurt and alone and broken as she is. Emma tried to lose herself. She stared out into the black waters. She listened to the waves crashing against the boat. The voices' volume decreased. She focused harder on the waves crashing against the ship. The sound of gulls crying in the night. Anything to turn down the whispers in her head. 

Suddenly, a steady hand grasped her shoulder she jumped. She was so focused on the waves crashing and trying to drone out the voices, she had missed the heavy foot falls on the wooden deck all together.

"Are you alright lass?" She never once thought that the ferocious Captain Hook would be caring. She had always thought, ok fine, she had never really thought of Captain Hook at all, but when she was little and had thought about him, she saw him as an evil and cruel man, who hated children and stole from everyone. She imagined him as a man who took away children's hopes and dreams. She imagined him being terrified of crocodiles and being like that old man, Mr. Lenz, on her street that didn't let kids come anywhere near his lawn. Not once did it ever cross her mind that the man might actually have a heart that he was willing to use.

If this was actually the real Captain Hook and not her creepy, hot dream version then how was he turned from this to an evil villain? Was he truly a good guy and not a villain? But this man had to be a pirate. He has a ship and literally only wears black leather. The man could not be completely good. He has to have some blemishes on him. If only she could find them...

He tried again to gain Emma's attention.

This time the shaking on her shoulder shook her out of her reverie and cleared her mind. The voices also seemed to have fallen silent, which was a relief.

"Lass?" He repeated.

Not looking at him she acknowledged his presence, "What?" It came out a lot ruder than she had meant for it to be but it was too late.

"No need to be rude. I was just making sure you were all well. You almost took quite a fall into the water back there. We don't need you to be mermaid fodder." Emma thought of laughing, but when she turned to face him, his face was completely serious. He had no humor on his face at all. She mentally made note that mermaids were definitely real here and apparently are not nice according to that face.

"Well, I'm fine and you can go on your merry way now. Thank you very much." She tried to shoo him away. She didn't need yet another thing to deal with right now.

"You don't look fine." God he annoyed her.

"You know I would be better if you left me alone." She snapped. She just wanted to be alone. That was all. She didn't need him getting all up in her business.

She thought he was leaving. He had turned around and was a few steps away when he stopped and came right back. He came in close. His lips millimeters from her ear. His breath tickled her skin and his beard scratched and scraped leaving tingles spreading throughout her.

Then he whispered, "I'll leave you alone. But you're not the only one who can hear them."  Then he pulled away and walked away down the deck. She thought about pursuing him. He had the answers. He could hear them too! 

But how did he know?

How did he know that she was being plagued by them?

But more importantly why could he hear them?

What did he have in common with her?

She'd find out eventually. She had to. She needed answers and he had them. She would find out his secrets and he would have to find out her's. It would have to be a swap. It was the only way she decided as she lowered herself to the deck. 

She sat down and took off her shoes and mismatched socks. Sand tumbled out of them and landed on the deck and in the sea.

She careful placed them beside her and she put her legs through the wooden bars of the ship.

She felt content here. As if this was where she was meant to be. Resting her head on the rail of Captain Hook's ship, looking out onto the sea and Neverland, trying to dull the whispers in her head. Yeah, this is exactly where she is supposed to be.

She is supposed to be in freakin' Neverland. Sounds right.

Maybe she'll also get a family that loves her too.

* * *

 

Emma didn't remember falling asleep.

She didn't remember going to a cabin or a hammock to sleep. So how did she end up in a bed?

She immediately sat up and scanned her surroundings. She was currently in a fairly comfortable small mattress like thing that appeared to be on a wooden box. Above her were shelves filled with books and knick-knack like items. A desk covered in maps and books was in the center of the small room. A large window that covered an entire wall allowed light and the sight of the island and the open sea.

Was this the Captain's quarters? Oh God, if this was Captain Hook's cabin then...Nonononononono!

She looked at the thin sheet covering her body. Fully clothed. Well she wasn't wearing socks but that's beside the point.

The breath that she had been unconsciously holding hissed out her teeth and lips. 

Emma tried to recall the events of the previous day. Waking up in the jungle. Walking through the jungle. Falling asleep in the jungle. Waking up with woman and pirate in her face. Finding out woman and man are Tinkerbell and Captain Hook. Trudging through the jungle to the beach to see the boat she was on. Getting on a lifeboat to get to the ship. Almost falling into the cold water because of the voices. Actually praying. Looking out to sea. Talking with Hook and him saying he heard them too. That was the last thing she remembered coherently.

If the last thing she remembered was sitting out on the deck, then how did she end up here in most likely Hook's bed?

She sat there in his bed for a few minutes trying to gain control of her racing mind. She tried to make sense of everything. She was so engrossed in her mind that she didn't even hear the knock on the door. It wasn't until the knocking turned into angry sounding pounding that she was knocked out of her reverie.

"Swan! It's time to get up! I'll give you one more minute and then I'm coming in!" She recognized the angry yelling as the Captain's. She knew the threat was most likely legit, so she quickly rose from the lumpy cot and reached for the doorknob. 

She yanked the door open, "What?"

"I need my cabin." He stated bluntly and pushed passed her.

"Why? I was here first."

"Well Swan, I do have more than one shirt and I would like to change out of the one I slept in last night because I am a gentleman and let you sleep in a bed. So if you don't mind would you like to act like a lady and let me actually use my room? It would be very much appreciated." He replied as he rummaged through the chest at the foot of the bed that was jammed on the side of the cabin.

"I'm not a lady but I will leave considering you were nice to me." She turned and strode out of the cabin and into the hallway.

The hallway was made entirely of wood but that didn't surprise her. This whole goddamn boat was made of wood! When she reached the end of the corridor she saw a set of steps leading upward. She was just about to head up onto the deck when she heard voices. These were not like the ones she had heard last night. They weren't overlapping and constant like a million people whispering at once. No, this was a hushed conversation coming from the door to her right.

"What does he think he's doing? He is going to get us all killed." A gruff masculine voice said.

"We have no say at all anyway. It doesn't matter." A second voice responded.

"But he's going to get us killed. I don't want to get caught in the crossfire. Do you? We all know that the shadow had to have brought her here. If Pan doesn't get her then we both know what is going to happen and if Pan doesn't get what he wants, well I am not going to be the one who gets caught in the crosshairs." A breath caught in her throat. They were talking about her. They didn't like her here at all. What did they mean about crosshairs? Was Pan a monster rather than a hero? Was this a dream or a nightmare?

"I know, but he's still our Captain. We can't just veto this. He clearly has taken a liking to her." She could feel the heat being to creep up her neck and into her face. Had he really taken a liking to her or were they just saying that because they were pirates?

"We could contact Pan..."

"Are you crazy?!" The second man practically yelled. "If the Captain ever got wind we would be killed or worse." She shivered as she pushed her body even farther into the walls of the hallway, attempting to hear the conversation better. "That is suicide and you know it. If Pan doesn't kill us then the Captain will."

"But we both agree that the problem has to be fixed." All of a sudden she hears heavy footfalls coming down the hall from the way she had just come. She hurriedly pushed herself of the wall and quietly headed up the stairs as to not alert the men in the closet of her presence.

As she broke out onto the deck her nose was met by the saltiness of the sea and the smell of cooked meat. 

She searched for the source of the smell. Her eyes fell on a small table set up on deck. There was a platter of some sort of meat and a pot of some sort of stew. On the end of the table a ripped loaf of bread sat and  a pitcher of what she assumed was water sat beside it.

At the table were two members of the crew and the petit blond from the previous night. Oh right, Tinker Bell, because this is Neverland and if Captain Hook is real then Tinker Bell has to exist too and she has to be the size of a regular human being. If this was crazy enough. 

She looked up and saw her standing there staring at the table. She beckoned her to come to the table.

Emma slowly moved her feet as if they were stuck in mud. But she headed in the direction of the table. She had no idea why she was taking so long. Why was she having so much trouble just going to a table about ten feet away? But after much slow walking she made it to the table.

Tinkerbell pulled up a rickety looking stool and pushed her down onto it. Then she grabbed a not so clean looking plate and took a hunk of meat with her hands and put it on the plate. Next she grabbed a spoonful of whatever liquid food mixture was in a pot beside the meat and put in on the plate. She dropped the plate down in front of Emma and then reached for a fork and knife. She then grabbed the loaf of bread and ripped off a piece with her greasy hands and handed it to her. Finally she grabbed a fork and knife off of a already eaten off of plate and placed them on her plate.

Emma was partially disgusted by the blonde's but she didn't say anything. This was a different world maybe even a different universe. Emma couldn't say anything to offend them because they were helping her. If she had learned anything, it was that not everyone wanted her here. She can't complain.

Tinkerbell placed the water pitcher in front of her, "Sorry, we don't have any cups. All the men have their own flasks and such. They just fill them to drink. You can just drink from the pitcher. No one will mind."

She just stared at her plate filled with brown  _ stuff.  _ She breathed in deeply. Her lungs filling with the smell of the meat and salt filled air. Surprisingly, she liked the smell. Emma tentatively picked up her fork and knife. She prodded the meat with her fork and the cut a small piece off of the slab. She raised the piece to her lips and then took a bite.

Her tongue was met with a kind of beefy flavor but she thought that it might be the stew thing. The meat actually had a consistency of a fish but it didn't taste like fish. More like a gamey flavor and maybe chicken, but she always thought meat she had no idea what it was tasted like chicken.

"What is this?" She asked.

The woman turned to her and looked at her for a moment and then responded, "Um, do you really want to know? Because I don't think you want to know. You want to eat and if I tell you then you won't want to eat it."

Suddenly Emma wasn't hungry anymore. But she was was right, she needed to eat.

As Emma pushed the meat and stew into her mouth, the woman started some idle conversation with her. "I don't know if you know this or not but my name is Tinkerbell and if you call me Tinkerbell, I will physically maim you. That is a real and honest threat." 

Emma swallowed the mouthful of meat she had and then responded, "I know what a threat is. You don't need to explain it. I've heard my share of legitimate threats before. A couple have actually been fulfilled."

The woman looked taken aback for only a moment of a moment and then her expression returned to the stony look of before. "I guess I didn't expect such a dainty looking girl to be tough as nails."

"Yeah, well I'd say the same to you, Tink." She ate another mouthful, "What are you doing here? You and the Captain don't seem to get along too well."

"Me and the Captain get along when we have to but his presence doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I'm here for you."

Emma stopped chewing. The warm gamey tasting meat formed a lump in her mouth. She stared at her like that, mouth full of food and not knowing what to say or do. For her entire life no one had ever done anything for her. If they had to they did but never on their own accord.

"Nobody has ever done anything just for me because they wanted to." She whispered, "Why?"

"You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into on this island. If the shadow brought you, then Pan wants you and you need protection. Being the only girl on that island is a dangerous thing to be."

Emma was still getting used to this dream. From all that she had gathered, Neverland was not fun and pretty and beautiful. You did not want to dream of coming here. From all that Tink had said well then you did not want to meet the lost boys either. They, to be honest, sounded like a scary street gang. Like the one, she had encountered when she was with a foster family in Chicago.

"Well, hurry up and eat your meal. I have things I need to show you before we go and talk to Hook." Emma looked down at her half eaten plate of food. She had about three-quarters of the meat left to go and a good portion of stew left. The hunk of bread Tink had given her was left untouched on her plate soaking up the juices of the stew. She was just about to say she wasn't hungry anymore when Tink spoke up, "Oh and don't even think about not finishing that. This ship doesn't get hot food often and you'll want the energy, so don't even think of wasting it."

She looked back down at her plate and picked back up her fork. Sighing, she dug it in and started to eat.

  
  



End file.
